Turning A New Page

So, I know it's been a long time since I've been here. Truthfully, there was so much going on in my life that I could barely remember to eat. So, blogging? Forget it. But, I'm back. Finally...
And, in coming back, I'm bringing a whole new attitude along. The last year or two has been really rough. It felt like everything was sliding downhill and I just couldn't climb up. Well, over the last few months, I have been determined to change things. To make myself achieve things I never thought possible. Things that terrified me. Or just things I never believed I could actually do. And, of course, some things I just wanted to do for the heck of it. So, I did what everyone else in the world seems to be doing. A bucket list. Granted, a majority of things on there are typical; See the Great Wall, meet my favorite celebrity, be on T.V., etc. But, there were also a lot of things I have wanted to do but haven't. Whether due to fear or just no belief in myself.
Believe it or not, I have slowly begun to cross things off my list! And, with each thing I achieve, I feel stronger, more confident and proud. I am doing all those things I "couldn't" do. I am conquering those same fears and insecurities that have kept me down for so long. Don't get me wrong. There are many, many times in which I still say I can't do something. That I panic at the thought of all the negative things that could happen. But, recently, a very dear friend of mine wrote me a letter. In it, she told me how strong I was and how far I have grown in the last few years. She ended with saying, "You can achieve anything you desire; you truly can." The amount of belief she has in me floored me. I never thought anyone would think I was that capable of achieving anything... let alone, everything. She doesn't know this but, in times of serious self doubt or extreme sadness, I pull out that letter. I reread it. It makes me cry everytime but, I always feel this little ray of hope. It forces me to remember that there is someone out there who expects me to take a deep breath and go for it. To live my life without fear and regrets. To be the person I was meant to be.
And, that is exactly what I intend to do. One moment at a time. Every day. For the rest of my life.

Do you know what I wonder?
How many people, at this moment, are lying awake and crying?
I know there must be mire then just me, right? It's funny, you know. Not too many years ago, I honestly thought the best thing I could do was just give up. I was so depressed. I saw no point in anything anymore. Then, my life seemed to change. The scales seemed to at least be balancing out. I was, dare I say, happy.
Now, here I am, once again lying in the dark and crying. The nights are the worst. The house is so silent right now. All my animals are sound asleep (on the bed with me I might add). The only things I hear are the ticking of the clock and my husband snoring. It must be so wonderful to be able to just fall asleep. No thoughts slamming around your head like trapped ping pong balls. I wouldn't know. I have so much going on lately that it's a wonder I can function. Do you ever just feel so alone?
I do.
I feel as if everyone has just slowly changed their lives. Some better. Some worse. All without me. Even my husband has started pushing me away. My best friend as well. The two most important people in my life... Just seemed to stop caring. If no one cares what I do, why should I?
Why should I care about anything?

I did it!!!!!!

I DID IT!
Sorry, let me back it up and start from the beginning...

I have been doing a family Zumbatomic class every Thursday with my friend's daughters. Essentially, it's a watered down version of its adult counterpart; Zumba. I have been wanting to attend an adult Zumba class for awhile now. The problem is that I have always been too scared. Terrified that I'd make a fool of myself. Or that I wouldn't make it through the whole class. Well, my friend, Alisah, is a Zumba instructor. She told me about a "Dance To A Healthy Heart" event. It was free, for a good cause and 2 hours. I searched around for someone to go with. (Because there was no way you would catch me going alone.) Finally, my friend, Sonia said she was interested. Before we went in, we agreed that we could never make it through two hours. When we got too tired, we would just leave. Before I knew it though, we had made it to the third (out of four) instructors! We realized that we were going to make it and, as a reward, we bought ourselves hip scarves and wore them through the rest of the dances.

It was such a good time and I was amazed at how at ease I was after I got into it. I am completely hooked and fully intend to enroll in Alisah's class as soon as the nicer weather hits. Most importantly though, I am really proud of myself. I went into a situation saying,"I can't do this." When I left, I was incredulously saying, "I DID it. I can't believe it!"

The confidence boost that came with doing thisis absolutely amazing. So, my advice..
Step out of that comfort zone. Do something that you never thought you could. You may be surprised at what you CAN do!

WTB shirt

So, I designed a Who's The Boss t-shirt for my little sister and we thought it came out pretty neat. Here are the pictures...

<---------------Back of the shirt.

                                               Front of shirt

                                              Closeup of back

I order these shirts through my Cafepress account. They run me about $30.00 plus $5.00 s/h. If anyone is interested, let me know and I can put an order in. :)

Happy Birthday Judith Light!

Today is a cold and wintery Wednesday. Much more importantly though, it is also Judith Light's birthday.
I have been watching Judith for as long as I can remember. It started out with only knowing her as Angela Bower on "Who's The Boss". I was just a kid but I adored that character. As I got older, I began watching her other movies. I slowly began to realize that there was so much more to Judith then her WTB role. She was, and still is, beyond versatile. Her acting is not just surface deep. She truly becomes her characters. Right down to the tiniest details. It amazes me that she is not an A-list celebrity. For all her talent, she is sorely underappreciated.
Now, let's be honest. There are a decent amount of gifted actors. So, why Judith? What makes her special? Why do I admire her so much? Simply put, she is no one but herself. In all accounts, what you see is what you get. Judith doesn't portray herself as kind, considerate and loving... That's her natural personality. She truly appreciates her fans and takes time to meet them. Not to mention, Judith believes that celebrity is great but if she doesn't use it to help others, why have it.
So she does. She is extremely vocal in the fight against AIDS and an active supporter of the GLBT community. She was one of the first celebrities to really put herself out there and I admire her for the strength it takes to stand up and fight. Especially fir something so many people oppose.
So, Judith, today is your day. May it be filled with happiness, laughter and love. You deserve it!
Happy Birthday!

Keeping my resolutions

Did you make any new years resolutions this year? I did. Ten of them in fact. Some were little things such as finishing a project. Others were a lot more personal. Then there were a few that have somehow managed to overlap into each other. I promised myself that I was going to lose the extra weight that has crept up on me. Another was to step outside of my comfort zone. Last, but not least, was to conquer some of my bucket list.
How do these three connect? Well, thanks to my determination that I WILL lose that fat and my new, intense love for Zumba, I have essentially linked all three! Joining a zumba class will cross of a bucket list item (join a dance class), get me waaayy out of my comfort zone, and (hopefully) fit back into my favorite skirt.
I am practicing dances like crazy in hopes that I will be able to attend an upcoming two hour zumba for your heart event.
I will keep you posted on my progress and if I make it through the two hours lol...

Old Blog Posts I found...

I went into my old Myspace account and came across these old blog posts. I found them to be slightly interesting so, i figured I would post them here.

....Changes.... (May 9, 2008)

Current mood:melancholy

Tonight, I sit here, and feel so down.  The end of the school year is drawing closer and I find myself unprepared for the changes it will bring.  Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled and extremely lucky to be moving on to this new family. The children are so sweet and their parents are funny and nice. Yet, I find my heart feels heavy.  I have already begun to miss the situation I have now... I have never been very good with change.  My employer (but more importantly, my friend) says not much will be different. I will still be over there some days.  So, why do I not believe that things will not change?? Because, so many times, life has sent me down a path that my friends are not on. And, consequently, our friendship begins to fade away until it is just a bittersweet memory in the corner of my mind.  I'm not ready for this to happen again.  I suppose all I can really do is hope that these people care for and love me as much as I do them... 

my life goals (April 28, 2008)

Current mood:breezy

Well, the other day, Francis and I were chatting about what we would like to do before we die. (I suppose we had run out of otherwise intelligent conversation!) So, we went back and forth and listed every goal no matter how small or big it was. I thought it was an interesting list on my end so, because I am bored and in a great mood, I decided to share it:
1)  Have children.
2)  Visit Australia.
3)  Own a Subaru.   (As of today, I own a green subaru legacy: 4/28/08)
4)  Make a difference in someone's life.
5)  Become a foster parent.
6)  Own a cocker spaniel.
7)  Learn a foreign language... and remember it well!
8)  Write a children's book.
9)  Win a contest of any kind! lol!
10)  Travel to a variety of foreign countries.   (Been to: Germany)
11)  Meet Teri Hatcher.
12)  Be on T.V.
13)  Be a bridesmaid.
14)  hold a monkey.
15)  Own a sugarglider.
*There are more goals then these but I didn't put them down because these are my top 15**
(So, I was actually able to complete another one of these.. I was a bridesmaid in one of my dearest friends wedding in the summer of 2009)

WE"RE MOVING!!! (Oct. 17, 2007)

Current mood:ecstatic

So, I know I don't blog much but, hey, what can I say? My life is pretty calm and predictable. lol! But, seriously, this time I actually have GREAT news.... We are moving at the beginning of November!!! Hurray!!! And this time, it is a permanent move. It's our very own house!! (can you tell that I am ecstatic?!) It's a 4 bedroom, two story house with a garage. It has a huge yard and it's on the water. Also, it's right across the street from the playground/town playing field/ice rink. I am so looking forward to being in a place of my own. Especially celebrating the holidays there. No more rent or landlords or having to be quiet because the neighbors might get angry... WoooHooo! lol... well, that is all for now. When I have an official new address and phone number, I will post a bulletin to everyone. Take care!!

What makes my job so rewarding... (June 7, 2007)

Current mood:touched

First off, let me state that I really adore my job and I would not trade it for any other in the world. Unfortunately though, there are days that I want to pull my hair out. Especially as the end of the school year draws near. On occasion I have an experience that reminds me exactly why I do what I do and today was one of those days...
One of my school agers walked in with a gift bag which she handed to me. When I opened it, she had given me one of her stuffed animals. (A white gorilla to be exact. Because she knew I loved monkeys.) In it's arms was a card. I opened it and this is what it said... " Dear Teri, Thank you so much! I had the best time in my life this year! I had a happy time with you as a babysitter. I never met a babysitter that can make everything so fun. I hope I see you next year. I might get dropped off at home but, If I get lonely I will walked over to say, "HI" and play with S-----, K----. (Oh, yeah and with you too!) Hope you have a great time with the baby next year! I wanted to give you this monkey because I knew you like monkies! I will miss you so much! From, C------ H------."
I stood there in the kitchen and cried a bit. How wonderful and fufilling it is to be given such a thoughtful gift. And what an amazing girl she is to have done this all by herself! Today was what made all the stress of the past 9 months make sense. A reminder, if you will, of why I adore children so much and spend so much time with them. Because there truly is no greater reward then having a child whisper "I love you" as they walk by. Or the way they snuggle in your arms when they are tired, scared, or hurt. Or their blind trust that you can fix any situation and make it better... I work with children for their honesty and beautiful innocence and the ability to see the world with such wonder and excitement. A gift that many adults no longer possess. A gift that I refuse to relinquish. Because I believe that the world would be so much better if everyone could still see the world through a child's eyes.