So, I know it's been a long time since I've been here. Truthfully, there was so much going on in my life that I could barely remember to eat. So, blogging? Forget it. But, I'm back. Finally...
And, in coming back, I'm bringing a whole new attitude along. The last year or two has been really rough. It felt like everything was sliding downhill and I just couldn't climb up. Well, over the last few months, I have been determined to change things. To make myself achieve things I never thought possible. Things that terrified me. Or just things I never believed I could actually do. And, of course, some things I just wanted to do for the heck of it. So, I did what everyone else in the world seems to be doing. A bucket list. Granted, a majority of things on there are typical; See the Great Wall, meet my favorite celebrity, be on T.V., etc. But, there were also a lot of things I have wanted to do but haven't. Whether due to fear or just no belief in myself.
Believe it or not, I have slowly begun to cross things off my list! And, with each thing I achieve, I feel stronger, more confident and proud. I am doing all those things I "couldn't" do. I am conquering those same fears and insecurities that have kept me down for so long. Don't get me wrong. There are many, many times in which I still say I can't do something. That I panic at the thought of all the negative things that could happen. But, recently, a very dear friend of mine wrote me a letter. In it, she told me how strong I was and how far I have grown in the last few years. She ended with saying, "You can achieve anything you desire; you truly can." The amount of belief she has in me floored me. I never thought anyone would think I was that capable of achieving anything... let alone, everything. She doesn't know this but, in times of serious self doubt or extreme sadness, I pull out that letter. I reread it. It makes me cry everytime but, I always feel this little ray of hope. It forces me to remember that there is someone out there who expects me to take a deep breath and go for it. To live my life without fear and regrets. To be the person I was meant to be.
And, that is exactly what I intend to do. One moment at a time. Every day. For the rest of my life.
